Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
