lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
