i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
