Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
