Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
