Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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