i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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