I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
