you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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