ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
