Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I have fence marks all over my body
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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