the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
