is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
