I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
