How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
