Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
