I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
