Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
