:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
