see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
