oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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