why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
