I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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