If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
