Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I have surprise drugs for everyone
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
