Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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