That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
