the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
