Got a toothbrush?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
