I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
