You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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