My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Is it because I queefed?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
