Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
