i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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