Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
