Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
