woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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