I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
