Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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