i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
