matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
