She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
