There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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