I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
wow bdsm is so cute
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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