I just saw a hot homeless man
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
