i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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