my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
