Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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