There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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