can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize