So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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