i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
