You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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