i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
