A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
