he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
