I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize