I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize