I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
