it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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