The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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