it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
