Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
